six word autobiography: “fuck goddamnit i fucked up so bad”
guys i specifically made that sentence seven words long so someone could comment “but thats seven words” and i could say “fuck i did it again i fucked up” so we could all have a good laugh but no one said it. yall fucked up. i fucked up because i assumed yall wouldnt fuck up. everythings fucked up
"we’re having guests over come downstairs"
yea i have a real girlfriend. her names… mysterious. mysterious blood pyramid. she goes to a different school
"Please ask a staff member for details."
Fill the tub up half way then ride it with my Surfbort
why she actin so surprised like did she really think she was gonna hang 10 in her gatdamn baftub
this planet sucks nothing works. the Volcanoes dont work like 1/10 of them work. the ocean is poorly lit. the dryers in public washrooms dont do shit. im sick of this place
yeah. yeah i would love a body pillow. are you volunteering
are you saying this as in using my body as a pillow as we cuddle
or are you going to stuff my corpse with stuffing and sleep on it
writing papers for elementary foreign language classes makes me feel so dumb because in english i’m fairly articulate but i literally just wrote in german: “I have a door. the door is big. the door is brown. i have a room.” i’m handing this in for a grade.
sometimes i think that i am not so stereotypical of an american
and then i remember that i consider the coke freestyle machine one of the greatest modern inventions
i mean look at this thing
over 100 choices, computerized mixing, one spout, touch screen, ice dispenser
The dick get so hard when I see one of these.
this is terrifying
la-laaaaa la-la la la la la la la-la la la-la laaaaa…
"actually, that was due today”